So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
