I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
