I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i think i have herpe
just one?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
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