Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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