u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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