did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize