so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
