Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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