i permit you to call me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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