I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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