i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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