Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
