have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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