you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize