Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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