she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
