I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
