I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize