dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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