I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
