when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
smell my finger.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
