To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
