Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
