She is in my trunk
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
