My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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