Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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