saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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