i jhust puked up my retainher.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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