i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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