you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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