just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
These tits shall not be calmed
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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