K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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