i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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