if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
