I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
