I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize