The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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