Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
