There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
