Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
