By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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