I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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