I'm sorry my penis didn't work
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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