so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
