1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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