We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
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