so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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