I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
