Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
