I wish my penis had an off switch
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
