I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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