Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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