Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
