Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
