There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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