I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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