If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
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