Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
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So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
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Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
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