I think i sorta joined a cult last night
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
